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I posted recently about a lesson I had learned, but I didn’t give the back story as to how I learned that lesson.  Well, let me share.  Last year my husband and I wrestled with the idea of homeschooling.  However, we were feeling some financial pressure, so I jumped on the bandwagon to work and we sent our daughter off to school.  I didn’t work very long before I really started questioning what we had done.  Even so, I brushed it off and went on, as I knew we could really use the extra salary.  About a month after I began working, our daughter was diagnosed with HSP.  This is not a life threatening condition, and will go away at some point during the year, but it can be a scary condition as it can cause permanent kidney issues in some cases.  From that point on it was doctor appointments every two weeks, and labs every few days.  Then it was off to see a specialist, and more labs, and more appointments.  I was always having to leave work or miss work.  On top of this stress, I began feeling a huge sense of guilt for sending my child off to school and taking a job.  I felt like I wasn’t following God’s will for our family.  In recent months I have even felt depressed; often sad or mad for no reason at all.  Finally, this week it was like God hit me over the head with it.  He said “just let go!”.  So I did.  I resigned from my job to be back at home.  Let me tell you, I have  never felt more peace in my life…even with all the stress we do have right now.  It was just right.  My asst. principal had noticed a difference in me a long time ago, and had been waiting for me to come talk to him.  He said I had done an amazing job, but something changed; that I had all the qualities of an amazing teacher, but this just wasn’t God’s will for my life right now.  Wow!  I was speechless!  God was speaking through that man…right to me.  God proved to me even more that this was right for us…in less than 48 hours they had filled my position.  No teaching job ever gets filled that quickly!  God has had his hand on all of this, all along.  He taught me that he is in control, and I need to relax and let him go to work.  So I am not home, and even though my daughter will be in school until May, I can now take her to school, pick her up, go on fieldtrips, go to school parties, and help out in her class….things I never got to do before, and things I would have never gotten to do during her Pre-K year had I not listened to God.  So for once in a long, long time…I have amazing peace.  Spare yourself the grief I felt, and listen to God!  He is such a good God!  And I promise you, if you give him the chance, he will work in your life.  Is my family budget more than tight now that I’m back home….oh yea!…but God will provide.  I may need to find a part-time job, or a night job, but never again will anything come before my family…nor will any job other than my job as mom be put first.  This is God’s will and calling for me…it may not be for you, and that’s okay, but always listen to what God says.

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